the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
