Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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