Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
