I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My vagina is very pro this idea
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize