Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Be still, my beating vagina.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We are all done wearing pants today
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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