I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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