erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
