is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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