She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
