What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
