The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
