he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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