just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
