I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize