Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
