Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
