Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude. I can hear the air.
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