I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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