No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
