There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
