It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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