Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
