You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Come on in and take your pants off
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