I wanna bring you to show and tell
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
