you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
