We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
