We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize