Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
