So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
