hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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