i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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