i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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