I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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