I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
