My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
