With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
