summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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