I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I understand Curling. That high.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
