wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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