I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
