i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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