Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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