oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
