Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
