Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize