Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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