You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
