yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm too high and old for this...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
