arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
