I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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