so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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