im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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