So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's always time for handjobs
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
