the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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