why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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