I look better un-naked...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
