Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
