The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
