Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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